An Open Letter to The Fast and Furious Franchise

Dear Fast and Furious,

I love you very much. Too much. Which is why I’m coming to you as a devoted fan to beg you, please let this be it. For 14 years we have grown together; you from a superficial car racing film to an off-the-wall spectacle of mythical proportions, and me from an oily-faced teenager obsessed with Vin Diesel’s muscles and Paul Walker’s eyes into the brilliant, studious film critic of today. Which is why I need to tell you that I’m done. It’s been a thrilling ride with you, but you can’t go any faster or more furious. I think it’s time we pump the brakes and remember that it’s better to burn out then to fade away, right?

Furious 7 is incredible—literally jaw-dropping awesome in the sense that I awwed in open-mouthed shock at stunts and plot advances. You showed me things I didn’t think were conceivable to dream up, let alone film. You’ve impressed me with the moxie of your franchise, which has only gotten bigger, badder, and more insane over time! I never imagined that I’d watch a film that could show me a car fall from an airplane only to have it sail delicately to the ground via a giant ass parachute all before an epic shoot out takes place. I congratulate how you’ve crotched a powerful theme of loyalty and family into your full-throttled adrenaline filled circus. You absolutely sent me soaring during your carefully choreographed fight sequences and your tribute to Paul Walker was an absolutely beautiful candle on a perfect ending.

James Wan, though some of your direction is surprisingly clunky and amateurish here (the focus on scantily clad women, the obvious stunt doubles during certain fight scenes), you still did a bang up job making the camera a limber voyeur of the action. It’s really cool traveling between characters in 360 spins and gliding along with an arm as it choke slams the hell out of a body. Fast and Furious, I’ve always loved how you somehow make over the top mind numbing events spectacular and sincere, and you’ve outdone yourself in Furious 7. You remind us numerous times that “cars don’t fly” through sly remarks just so you can defy your own rules in unexpected ways.

Thank you Fast and Furious for exposing me to magical flying cars and outlandishly fun situations that these characters keep finding themselves in. But let’s be real, even a perfectly maintained engine won’t last forever. To be a legend, you have to go out on top. Fast and Furious, you are on top. You’ve won. You can’t go anywhere higher or faster. Even if you can, you shouldn’t. You have wrapped up your series so perfectly that it would be shameful to debase all your hard work with an 8^th installment. You’ve done all you’ve needed to do and I only hope that you respect yourself and audiences enough to remember that. Kudos Fast and Furious series, kudos.

Sincerely,

The Cinephiliac